Friday, August 31, 2007


In my recent delirium, I've forgotten who tagged me. But just being tagged feels sooo nice. Here goes, 8 random UP TO THE MINUTE things about me.

1. I have a HUGE crush on my new principal. She is a cowgirl and drives a big, red truck. She dresses like a boy but she has the cutest smile. And she is whip smart. It's really made a big difference at my best friend says, work is my paid vacation!

2. I am having a surge in libido. Call is kundalini, call it the result of amazing bodywork (thanks David!), or call it plain ole' hormones, I am ready to go 24 / 7 of late.

3. I believe in past lives, and I get glimpses of who I was before this lifetime fairly regularly.

4. Faeries are talking to me lately. I gave up my walks in the woods willingly a couple of times because every tree, rock and bush became a kind of living being who wanted to give me a message. Should I relax and listen? It feels unsettling.

5. I could have chosen many paths, but mother is what I am, and I embrace it the best I can. I am working on remembering to honor the other parts of Self as well: lover, priestess, friend, champion of the earth.

6. My first spiritual path was through Self Realization Fellowship. I took correspondence courses for over a year, following the guidelines for meditation and at one point, wrote a personal letter to the nuns there for help and guidance around my (first) crumbling marriage (I still have her kind response: pray for him). That was 16 years ago; Paramahansa Yogananda (Divine Swan) remains my true guru to this day.

7. My spiritual path currently is twofold: yoga - meditation - journaling - therapy - bodywork, and good ole' rockin' ritual Pagan majick. Since Shekhinah's passing the sacred circle has stirred to form again.

8. I marvel at the evolution of this blog, and sincerely honor my original crafty fiber arts friends with a little tiny apology for not writing about knitting, spinning or crafts. But hey, winter is coming.

Monday, August 27, 2007

what he's missing

Well, you know, if you've got it, work it. What's not to love? What is his problem, and further more, why do I care?! Obviously I'm feeling better now, and thank you to all the well wishers, I love everyone who cares.

School has started, and I am once again among sane people. Smart professors, cute aides, fun friends and old partnerships are all merging and crossing in front of me. I feel cute, fun and smart too!! And I deserve all good things!!!

How do I satisfy the muse in my heart? Right now it's through Kindergarten...creating an environment that nurtures and makes learning happen. And through another environment as well: I'm moving to the upstairs level of our dome, level of the subconscious...I'll have a new altar space, and a big open space for clothes, my books, my things only and a place of refuge when life is happening all around.

I have been reading a lot about Venus being retrograde. That it's not a good time to inspire beauty, or to get married, or to work on relationships. So I am focusing on other things.

La - dee - dah.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

maui ocean center

I walked on water and I saw many of Mama Ocean's creatures...

The lion fish.

The manta ray.

The shrimp.

Here dh and I pretend we still like each other.

The saddest truth of all is that is trip, this wonderful magical sensual time, was probably the last joy we will have shared. My heart is breaking, and it hurts so bad. Please pray for resolution around my poor battered relationship. I'm watching it fall to pieces....and trying not to go to pieces too.


Wednesday, August 15, 2007


That's right, this is my 202nd post. That means the 200th one was "maui". Yay for me!

Blogging is the strongest form of creativity coming through now, besides journaling. I did begin a juveline stitchery project (dolphins) on the trip, but really only devoted one morning to it and it's not picture worthy yet. The only other creative thing was lei making....the piles of orchids were an orgasmic experience. I wanted to roll around in them.

One could include photography I suppose. I enjoyed capturing majickal moments with the spirits of the land. Children led me to discover this fellow...

...and this red fish was at the Maui Ocean Center. As P. #2 once said, tranced out by the aquarium scene: " *sigh*...I wish I were a fish..."

Me, I'd rather come back as a spray of orchids. Bloom, perfume, fade, sweat, bloom again...

I was blessed with free leis (read: abandoned) throughout the week. Lush, fragrant, healing flowers are wonderful allies. I found a pikaki lei (angel's breath scent!) and then later, some I think were forgotten by a bride: ti leaves twisted and punctuated by white orchids, and a full, heavily fragrant all - white orchid string that felt like a body halo.

Flowers really heal me, and I am so greatful for this awareness.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


The key to your happiness and contentment lies within you, within your own heart and mind.

The way you start each day is very important; you can start off on the right foot or on the wrong one....

...You are responsible for what today will bring, and knowing it gives you an even greater responsibility than those souls who are not aware of it and therefore know know better. You cannot blame your state of mind on anyone else. It all rests with you......"

- Eileen Caddy, The Spirit of Findhorn

I have indeed been shocked into stillness and surrendor lately. Above you see the altar I built in Maui to contain a little magic I stirred up. Not a great container, but pretty to see.

In my virtual circle this week, I am being asked: What growth opportunities knock at the oor of your heart?

I think the answer lies within the wisdom of age. I have an opportunity to lead a more examined life. To see situations in light of the past, what I tried, what I should have done. Punctuated by really examining things through the window of my heart.

It's amazing what you notice when you are really in the moment. I am practicing my breathing, my focus, and my groundedness (feeling contact with the earth). Powerful, unexpected events are surfacing, and I am looking deeply into the interior of my inner life.

Today I helped bury one of my earliest and most important teachers, Shekhinah Mountainwater. I am filled with grief at my loss, and ecstacy for her new journey. She went peacefully off in her Green Barge (eco-conscious coffin) under an oak tree. It was a sacred connection, I encourage all of you on your path to visit and explore Shekhinah's world.

(I pocketed some of her graveyard dirt just in case.)

Blessed be, sister.

Monday, August 13, 2007


I have been in Maui for nine days. This trip was exhilerating, grounding, exciting and interesting. I learned a lot about myself. I remembered things that were important to me. Like swimming in warm water.

Ulua beach, on the South side of Maui, is a gentle curve with velvety soft sand and lilting surf. I sun toasted myself while immersed in Amy Tan, then bailed into the perfect water to cool off. Float, emerge, repeat.

On our last day, we snorkeled along the reef, seeing the most amazing fish and coral, anemones (my favorite word) and urchins. I only felt scared if I imagined a shark emerging from the murky depths.

I was lazy, sensual, thoughtful, quiet, and serene, like a good lioness. Now re-entry has begun, so bear with me as I slowly unfold the story so as not to dissipate the magic too soon....

...stay tuned for more...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


Next time I won't forget the camera plug - in. I'm in MAUI and will return next week.

MAHALO................... and shaka' bra?
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