Sunday, May 21, 2006

gimme five

A rainy day random five.

***I notice, as I read through several (million) blogs out there, a dearth of, well... reality. Is it the nature of craft bloggers (especially the "popular" ones, you know who they are) to just kind of skip over the sticky bits of life? I wonder about what is really going on sometimes...maybe we blog to create a world we most desire, or as an escape, or (in my case) as a way to re - invent ourselves as we would prefer others to see us. Is everyone really so skinny, happy, satisfied, creative and fulfilled? In any case, there's a lot missing about messy relationships, addictions, resentments and other darkness. I think the silence is deafening.

***My most noticeable symptoms of PMS include tearing up at the slightest surge of feelings (good or bad), craving salt, finding no pants that fit, an irresistable urge to lie down, and picking fights with dh.

***Even though I really like being a mom, basically, there are times when I fantasize what it would have been like if I had chosen a different path. What if I had gone to FIDM that last year instead of getting my credential? Not let that boy follow me home that night? Said no when I really meant it but didn't? Followed my heart earlier? Note to self: follow. your. heart.

***Horses are really nothing like dogs. Dogs worship you and can thrive on neglect; they'll just adore you more when you remember about them. Horses have no particular opinion about you unless you are feeding them, but if neglected, they never forget. Although he can hold a grudge until he dies, horse's brain is the size of a walnut. Some people are like that too.

***I crave clarity in my life, but I'm having a hard time getting started. Should it be diet? Meditation? Long, tedious knitting sessions? (Oh yeah, I did start another poncho yesterday.) Journaling? Writing my dreams down? I strive to stay in today.

Thought for the day: Every moment is an opportunity to love.


Blogger Melanie said...

I have to say that for myself, not really blogging "reality" has to do with setting boundaries. I blog to share my knitting and spinning, not my innermost thoughts because blogs are public - any pervert with Google access can find you. I'm not a "famous" blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but for my own safety and my families', I just don't want to put too much personal stuff out there. That's just me though.

6:10 AM  
Anonymous Sylvie said...

I like this post K (can I use your real name?!). My 'So Sylvie' blog is mostly a utopian world where I go to escape. I have little fairies guarding the posting gates! People who are near to me know that I complain a lot of the time, and blogging is a kind of meditation for me; something that feeds the "good wolf" (you can email me for an explanation of the term). Having said that, I must confess to having an alter ego blog site where my evil twin gets to rant and rage! Interestingly, that one has very few posts.
I have a couple of good stories about horse loyalty. Ask me later.

I vote meditation.xo

10:45 AM  
Blogger Peruanita said...

I think you crave salt because you miss us, marathoner, haha. I have a few salt packets. Come and get it ;) I like your post. LOVE, me.

11:52 AM  
Blogger ACey said...

I think blogging gives many people a way of re-framing their ongoing reality. That said, I've noticed that craft bloggers in particular tend to be product rather than process oriented, and that this applies to their blog as well as their personal learning-and-doing affinities. In my opinion the idyllic scrim is as much about what we project on the posts as it's a [poentially] deliberate/contrived writing device.

That said, I too, often find myself wondering what's "really" going on in the larger lives and hearts of some of the most high profile bloggers but I tend to think that's because I'm a frustrated novelist rather than being onto something of a subverted or edgy nature ...

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Sylvie said...

"Um, yer honor...I was just going over my notes and I've found that the letters PMS appear in several posts on the defendant So Sylvie's blog. While she is not a "crafter" or owner of a "popular" blog, I submit: there are the smaller, underdog blogs where people exist in some real place; where real names are used in place of initials."

10:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yahoo! Go Sylvie!

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is something, I too, have been thinking about, especially as I consider starting to blog and what my 'voice' will be... On the one hand, I don't want to propagate this idealized view of what it means to be feminine (which I do find intensely fascinating btw) but I do want to have a blog that is attractive. Anyway, thanks for 'breaking the silence' and I've got you on my blogroll with an eye out to read someone who creates and also is a real human being.

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Donni said...

Found by default through a blog through another blog...and related totally to what you said. My daughter is almost 6 now but I won't ever forget the blackness of PMS that lingered for a couple of years - with me crying at the drop of a hat, quibbling with DH ALL THE TIME, and wishing I was somewhere else.....a huge weight lifted off my mind when I went to my GP with a list of things that I had "wrong" with me and she diagnosed me with PMS and said I had had it for "a very long time". WOW! It had a name and symptoms and I wasn't going crazy. For me - this re-assurance, and a very mild anti-depressant medication has balanced my life and made it as normal as it can be with 2 young children, part time work, a wonderful partner and my intense need to create things with my hands ALL the time. How to balance all that? Wish I knew - I struggle with it every day. Enjoyed your blog.

4:37 PM  
Anonymous heather at making time said...

Hello! I read this post ages ago, and I think about it pretty much everytime I write a post on my blog.

I don't know how much of my life I can or would share... but I do believe in using real names, and being a real person online. I tried the wacky monikers for a while, but it all seemed pointless.

I enjoyed this post alot!

8:03 PM  
Anonymous krisnoel said...

On one occasion my mom shared this with me,"cats look down on you, dogs look up to you, and pigs look you straight in the eyes." I'm fairly sure Tat borrowed that quote. Just the same, I love it. I did not know that Horses held grudges? I love to read the posts.

6:26 PM  

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